Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
