I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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