You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
