Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
