it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
