I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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