I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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