No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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