I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He shit in the fireplace
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
