I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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