Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I need to align my fucking chakras
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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