So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
