mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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