I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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