This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
