I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
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