We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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