i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
