If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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