I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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