How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
