I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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