Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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