While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
