too bad you live with your parents still
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
