Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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