Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
