I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize