the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
