1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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