Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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