would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
