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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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