called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
