absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
