Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
zippers are such a cool invention
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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