I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
