there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
