I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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