So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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