Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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