Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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