Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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