You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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