You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
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working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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