Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Can Purell be used as lube?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
