we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
