Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
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After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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