All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
