I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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