Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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