Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She announced her abortion via fbk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
