You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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