I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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