yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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