ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
