If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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