he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
