Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
