Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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