next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
