I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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