Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
