If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
