woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
