if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
