so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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