If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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